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A Man on Myths

Nice kiss. Beautiful smile. Feelin' great.

Here are a few of my favorite myths and the truth, though I use that word advisedly, according to my research.

When a man looks at a woman the first thing he looks at is her breasts.

Not true: we may cruise your body on the way up, but what we want to examine first is your face. Faces tell us much more than mere body parts. Faces express who you are: ethnicity, intelligence, group identity, education, happiness, and, most of all, receptivity. A smile is a woman’s best feature. It may not get you everything you want, but it goes a long way toward an introduction.

Men are hornier than women.

Women will certainly scoff at this assertion, but the stereotype is that men will have sex with anything with two legs and breasts, anytime, anywhere, and women are not as horny. Masters and Johnson, in their book Heterosexuality, state that on average men and women desire sex equally, but desire varies greatly among individuals. In other words, some men like sex a lot, some moderately, and some aren’t especially interested in sex. The same goes for women. If you think about it, you probably know some men who don’t seem focused on sex and plenty of women, certainly some of the ones here, can’t get enough.

Most men are turned on by larger, rather than smaller, breasts.

Depends on what you mean by most. Voyeurweb.com, the largest and most successful of sites that display amateur photos, had a contest to determine the sexiest breasts. Without commenting on the political correctness of such an idea, I will say that the breast photos were categorized by cup size, and viewers rated who, or, more crassly but more truthfully, what, they liked best.

I realized that the contest presented an opportunity to gather sociological data, and I counted the number of votes cast in each size category. Though this isn’t hard science (forgive my Freudian slip), it seems that the number of votes cast in each category reflects interest in that category, and, assuming that many more men than women participated, my count indicates that men prefer large breasts over small in a ratio of 60 to 40 percent.

Sixty-forty is not far from fifty-fifty, so women with smaller breasts please don’t despair.

A man or woman is either straight or gay.

Not true: homosexuality is not an either-or proposition—it’s a continuum. Some men are only attracted to women, some men are attracted in varying degrees to men and women, and some men are only attracted to men. The same goes for women’s attractions.

Men don’t have a hormonal cycle.

Not true: our cycle is short and irregular and the power of women controls it.

I’ve heard women complain about being ogled by men, and rightly so. The stereotypical response is, “He’s undressing me with his eyes.” I admit there’s some truth in that, especially if the woman is wearing revealing clothing. My personal philosophy is: unless admiration is clearly invited, take a few glances and keep your thought to yourself.

What’s really going on when a man looks at a woman is that if he finds her sexy a drop of hormone gets produced inside him. He doesn’t have to talk to you, he doesn’t have to relate, he merely looks at your shape, your face, your clothing, your smile, whatever turns him on, and that does it. The more we look the more hormone gets produced, the more the hormone builds up, and the more we become aroused. And by aroused I don’t mean getting an erection. The arousal is in our brains, and it makes us want to have sex. Wanting to have sex feels good, so we try to find more and more women to look at so that the arousal will keep building up, and we become more and more full of lust and more and more compelled to release that lust which is pent up and driving us crazy. This doesn’t sound very nice, but that’s the way we men are, and there’s no point denying it.

I’ll leave releasing the lust to your imaginations, but once its released men feel a whole lot better. We crave this cycle—looking at you and building and releasing arousal. We’re heavily addicted to our cycle, and it’s hard for men to understand that women don’t work the same way.

Over the years I’ve thought a lot about men’s cycle of arousal and how it works in me, and I observed that the cycle has a couple of exceptions that are to men’s, or at least to my, credit.

The first is that if I release the pent up lust by pleasuring myself the release doesn’t last very long, and the cycle starts over again almost immediately. But if I am fortunate enough to have the opportunity to make love with a woman then the craving takes much longer to return. I find this discovery pleasing, that a real woman satisfies me so much more than a woman seen and later imagined.

Secondly, I’ve fallen in love a couple of times, and when I did I made another discovery. I became full of arousal, yet I didn’t feel a need to release it. The arousal was from my love, and when I wasn’t with my love the arousal was all I could have of her, and I didn’t want to release it.

Categories: FYI, Sex
  1. January 28, 2011 at 11:34 am

    Interesting post. Love reading about the inner thoughts of men. I especially liked the part about looking at a stranger. I find I have similar thoughts when looking on a stranger I find attractive. Just taking them all in. 😉

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